Sunday, March 2, 2008

Jumbled thoughts for the day

Thoughts for the day:

-Can you gossip to yourself? I try not to be the person who tells everyone everything about everyone else. But is it any better to think snarky comments to myself about others? Probably not.

- I'm overwhelmed by the connectedness of the world. You know how if you spend a day playing a video game or working with a certain graphics program or, (in my case for today) graphing transportation systems, everything you see becomes that set of lines or patterns? I was walking down the stairs at a diagonal angle and realized the pattern looked just like the graph for local versus express trains. Maybe that's nerdy. But I think my point is when you throw yourself into one subject that becomes the basis of how you interpret everything in the world. So back in undergrad I saw everything as sociology. And then everything was art. For the moment everything is headway and terminal time and operating velocity and cycle time.

None of these are empirically right. I don't think that everything ultimately comes down to economics or biology or politics or art or sociology or theology or philosophy. Instead it's all so interconnected that you can tap into one of those underlying frequencies and interpret everything through that lens, and it's just as correct as any other frequency. It's fascinating to discover which frequencies resonate with which people.

At the moment I'm hopping between a bunch of them all the time, which is keeping my brain in shape to say the very least. I'm about to finish a bunch of engineering/physics type calculations, after which I'll finish a sketch and layout a portfolio.

-My subconscious life has been affecting my conscious life lately. I keep having these telling dreams, all loaded with subtle and not-so-subtle symbolism. Not only do I remember the dreams in the morning (which I haven't done in quite a while) but they affect how I feel for the rest of the day. It's strange.

-In the same vein, I've been having a disconnect between how I feel and being cognizant of that feeling. For example, the other day I felt all depressed inside, but I didn't consciously understand why. Then I thought it might be because of a decision I made, but I lacked the connecting guilt or conviction to make me consciously comprehend and confirm that I indeed believed I was wrong. The higher-thinking required to connect the causative action to the resulting feeling wasn't there. I just felt weird inside, but didn't feel wrong or regretful in my head. Also odd.

- When I'm doing school work and it's going faster than I expected, rather than working quickly to get it done, I relax my pace and waste time, so I end up finishing at the same time I would've had it taken as long as I expected it to in the first place. How's that for a run-on sentence?

-I'm going to New Orleans on Saturday. Hurray.

1 comment:

Vijay said...

I remember when (after playing Halo for quite some time) I was driving us down Lake into downtown and you laughed and said that you saw this woman pedestrian through cross hairs.